Trigger Warning: diet talk, mentions of weight loss, weight stigma, weight shame
Growing up as a fat kid, I often experienced adults making comments about my body. My personhood felt secondary to my fatness. Teachers, relatives, and even friends’ parents would say awful things about my body in front of me. I didn’t make an active choice to internalize all of that shame – it happened by default. As I grew up, I began to feel very negatively about my body and it was a source of shame for me for decades. It took years for me to unlearn those ideals and even longer for me to genuinely love myself.
So much of how we feel about ourselves can be traced back to what we are told to feel. It is hard to see all of the beautiful things our bodies do for us everyday, if we are constantly hearing how other people feel about them. Even a well meaning, “Oh, have you lost weight? You look great!” can be triggering for someone working on their relationship with their body. The best way to curb these comments is to have open and honest conversations with your loved ones. Setting a boundary, especially with your family, can be awkward. It takes practice to not only set a boundary, but to confidently hold that boundary should it be violated. I am here to give you the tools you need to have these conversations.
In a boundary setting session, we will discuss what a boundary around body talk looks like for you:
- Do you want to stop all negative comments about your body? All comments? What about other people’s bodies? Your children’s or partner’s bodies?
- Who are you setting this boundary for and in what circumstances?
- What will you do if your boundary is violated?
- How can you communicate this boundary to people you aren’t close with?
After working through this together, I want for you to have skills in place to help you navigate conversations about your body in a way that feels both healthy and authentic to you. Setting these boundaries is one of the first steps you can take toward learning to love the skin you are in.
Willow Intimacy 